Mary Carollo: Successful Divorce

For divorced parents (as with any parents), managing the children’s daily routine and long-term welfare poses an ongoing challenge. As a Long Island family law attorney, I see the sad impact that even well-meaning parents can have when the children are put in difficult or uncomfortable situations. And I see the remarkable difference it makes when both parents are on the same page, with their children’s needs at the forefront.

“Divorce in itself will not destroy your children. It is your reaction to the divorce that has the power to destroy their coping mechanisms,” advises Elinor Robin, Ph.D. in her e-zine article, “Divorce Doesn’t Have to Destroy Your Kids…” In fact, that gem is just one of 50 tips the article provides for divorced and divorcing spouses. My personal favorites range from #1, “Call a truce with your ex…” to #46, “Divorce is not an event, it is a process. Allow yourself, your ex-spouse and your children at least two years for readjustment.”

The article also features great notes for:

Navigating the perilous waters of being the non-custodial parent
Addressing how to make your time together special without spoiling the youngsters
Staying connected over the miles with the help of today’s technology
Dealing with teens who would rather spend the weekend with their friends than with the source of their child support

For the best way to handle the transition from one parent’s house to the other, see #7 – “… if possible avoid the dreaded switch by structuring your time sharing so that weekends start Friday after school and end with school drop-off on Monday morning.” Brilliant!

Second Time Around: What About a Prenuptial Agreement?

In a marriage without a prenuptial agreement, the assets and liabilities of divorcing couples are split equitably. If you’re considering a second marriage, you should consider a prenuptial agreement to protect your financial well-being.

While the divorce rate is high for first-time couples, it’s even higher for those who marry a second or third time. When you marry for the second time, you may already have children or have received an inheritance or expect one. Creating a prenuptial agreement the second time around gives you a chance to define what is yours and safeguard your wishes for the estate you have built. Think about the following:

Be sure both parties to a second marriage understand the need for financial stability during and after marriage. Instead of presenting your future spouse with an agreement to sign, consider using mediation to develop your prenuptial agreement that ensures both parties have equal say — and equal power — to protect assets and make fair agreements. The experience will give you insight into the financial habits of your intended and put both parties on the same page moving forward.

Make sure your agreement is strictly and specifically worded to protect assets you intend to bequeath to your children and others. Hold separate all property and assets you do not want to see split if the marriage does.

Discuss and define the present debt of both parties and how that will be managed.

Free Consultation with Divorce Lawyer in Utah

If you have a question about divorce law or if you need to start or defend against a divorce case in Utah call Ascent Law at (801) 676-5506. We will fight for you.